Such a [ p r e t t y p i c _ t u r e ] hanging there

I have a big life in a small town,
I have big dreams,
even though my family doesn't think
I'll make it that far.
I live in a world where good things still happen,
people love and live,
there's peace and hope and dreams.
I fangirl,
and I gossip.
I have amazing friends,
heroes in every day people,
and enemies that would pwn James the vampire any day.







MY JOURNAL IS FRIENDS ONLY,
PLEASE COMMENT TO BE ADDED.

Let me know if we know each other, or if we have something in common. Or if you just think I'm pretty. I love meeting new people and making friends, so don't be shy!

( Icon credits behind the cut; )

I made my journal private because I don't want people who I thought were my friends knowing the personal details of my life. But I do want to put one more thing out there for everyone to see, so we're clear. You'll know when I'm addressing you trust me.

The things that happened didn't have to and shouldn't have to happen. Did it ever cross your mind for one gifted second to PM Emma or myself and let us know how you were feeling? Didn't think so. You took matters into your own hands and made an ass out of yourself. And when you got caught talking shit on the boards, you made an even bigger ass of yourself by sending out that vulgar PM to all your little friends, one of which is stabbing you in the back as I type this.

Even as the situation got further out of control, you still could have fixed it. Again, a simple PM. At this point, after you sent out that PM, I realize I was an idiot for trusting you. The language you and your little friends used makes me sick even now. No one I would call a friend calls ANYONE a Faggot. That is the sickest, most disgusting word in the English language and you not only hurt Chris, you hurt me and the entire gay community. Chris is a human with feelings. You talked about girl stuff? Oh boo-friggity-hoo; the entire board knows the extent of your sex life, real and fantasy, and you're worried about the fact that, like every other girl in the world, you vagina bleeds once a month?

Another thing I'd love to get out of my system - don't you dare IM me and say you hope we can still be friends as you're writing shit about me on Livejournal. Yeah, you know who you are. You pretend to be the good one, the innocent one, but you're just as bad as those girls. You used to talk about them, remember? You used to hate them. I think that's hilarious. If you girls are going to talk shit about me, have the balls to say it in public and not in private journal entries and comments. If you were so badass, you would have returned the IMs I sent to three of you.

I've got news for you - all what, five of you? you leaving Fanbolt isn't shutting us down. I've gotten PMs thanking us for getting your shit off the board, for removing Mods who didn't do their jobs, yet thought they were Gods. Cause you weren't even close.

If you have a problem with me, act your age and say something to my face. Anyone who still posts on Fanbolt and doesn't gossip about me will get no fuss from me over being friends with those who left. I will glady show you the same respect you show me. I would appreciate it if anyone who still comes to Fanbolt and has an issue with me would please speak to me - I don't bite, I will show you no aggression and I will do my best to work out any problems with you. I hold no grudges and I don't want any bad blood. I, unlike some people, have the ability to forgive, to show understanding to a person when they need it. Even those who left and wish to speak to me can find all ways to contact me in my Fanbolt profile, or you can just ask. Again, I will show you the same respect you show me and I will speak to you honestly.

I will leave the TEAM CHRIS in my signature for as long as it takes the hostility towards him on FB to subside. We talked our problems out and became closer because of what happened.

I hope you can one day find better uses of your time. Online intolerance of sexual preference is a new low.

MY LIFE IS COMPLETE AGAIN. Jared and Jensen.. you can be married and dating girls I don't like. CHACE CRAWFORD is single again! The Daily 10 says that she stomped on his heart, and isn't over Tony Romo. You're bad, Car.

Carrie Underwood and Chace Crawford have split, sources confirm to Usmagazine.com.

The American Idol winner, 25, and the Gossip Girl star, 22, had been dating since last July, but did not go public with their romance until October.

Underwood had spent Thanksgiving at his parents' home in Dallas and part of her Christmas break with his relatives.

An insider told Us Weekly in December, "His parents are fond of her... they believe 'Carrie Crawford' would be a great addition to the family!"

"She's a classy girl," Crawford told Us in October.

Rumors linking Crawford to buddy JC Chasez sparked Chasez to tell Kiss-FM 104.7 Wednesday, "For the record, we're both straight. We're not dating."

Underwood's rep was not available for comment; Crawford's declined to comment.

Source: US Magazine.

So, this is random, but I've been reading old Fanbolt threads, and I really REALLY miss my old friends. Yeah, you know who you are. I really got into it with a lot of you, but some people you just don't forget. The people you were friends with since the late nineties don't just disappear from your head. Or your heart. I would really hope we've all grown up a lot in the past year or so. And I'm tired of being angry. So... if you see this, you know where to find me. Because I'm having a hard as hell time finding you.

Other than that! Updates. I'm 21 now, muahaha. What did I do for my birthday, you ask? I parked my pajama-clad ass in the living room and drank rum and Diet Pepsi. Funn stuff. I had my birthday party Saturday, which was amaaaazing. I'm a sissy, however, I only had three Hurricanes. Other than that, I've missed the last two weeks of English and Astronomy, and my last three Biology classes. I haven't been feeling so hot. I also may have two jobs coming up, part-time shit, as usual; a friend of Terrie's is looking for a babysitter for her son who has down syndrome, $8/hour. Also a drunk man at Mongo's on Saturday offered me a graphic-heavy web designing job part-time for him, I just have to gather samples and email them out. Wish me luck!

How has everyone been? Goood? Comment and let me know!

And I also wanted to send out lots of love and thanks to Scott, my adorable Brit man. Scott, you are amazing, and I love you oh-so-much. I haven't been on MSN a lot lately; I haven't been feeling all that hot, but I'll come see you this week, 'kay? Thank you for everything. For listening, and joking, and just talking to me.

Okay ya'll, Namecheap sucks, Namecheap can kiss my ass. They just like... deleted my domain without emailing me or anything. Nice, huh? So, I'm getting a new domain, probably though GoDaddy. Any ideas? I'm too caught up in school and work to even think of a half-decent domain name. Comment with ideas and I'll love you. Forever.

Okay, I posted the damn Twilight/Robert Pattinson/Harry Potter entry weeks ago, and it's not here. Is it just me, or did it seriously not show up?

Odd question, but what do you guys think of Sea World?

I've wanted to work there since I was five, but now that I'm in college, going through all the Marine Biology and Zoology requirement courses and looking into places to work when I move, I'm reading more and more about how bad Sea World really is for the animals. There don't seem to be any direct accusations of down-right animal abuse, but many, many organizations are against them, claiming that keeping a wild animal captive in a cage like that is cruelty. I'm at the point where I don't know who or what to believe. I want badly to stand by Sea World, as I go every year and love the place, but I see all this stuff about them never releasing animals back into the wild after injuries, even though they can be released, and just the thought of them taking a healthy dolphin away from its pod and its happy life in the ocean and putting it in a tiny little tank alone makes my stomach turn.

So be honest, everyone, what do you think of Sea World?

Also, anyone who lives in California, do you know of any research centers around there that deal with marine mammals? I'm looking for somewhere to apply to in preparation to moving, and I'd like to find somewhere that rehabilitates and researches.

Okay, LJ-whore today or what?

Haha I just found my theme song.

Sharada, Skye Sweetnam
Once upon a time there was a girl
You really wouldn't call her typical
Had her own definition of cool
She lived in her own world
She had her own style her own rules
She played along like it was usual
Nobody really even knew her name
Her life was one big game

She got her head in the clouds
Sharada, Sharada
Don't know when she'll come down
Sharada, Sharada
She can't get to bed
Sharada, Sharada
She's got this song stuck in her head
(her head, her head, song stuck in her head)

Dreaming all day
That's all she did
Ever since she was a little kid
All the teacher's thought that she was slow
She was just dreaming about her show
And when they told her she's delirious
She didn't care
She's just oblivious
She likes to make everyone curious
One day she's gonna be famous

She got her head in the clouds
Sharada, Sharada
Don't know when she'll come down
Sharada, Sharada
She can't get to bed
Sharada, Sharada
She's got this song stuck in her head
(her head, her head, she's got this song stuck in her head)

She got her head in the clouds
Sharada, Sharada
Don't know when she'll come down
Sharada, Sharada
She can't get to bed
Sharada, Sharada
She's got this song stuck in her head
(her head, her head)

She got her head in the clouds
Sharada, Sharada
Don't know when she'll come down
Sharada, Sharada
She can't get to bed
Sharada, Sharada
She's got this song stuck in her head
(her head, her head, her head, her head, her head)

Tell me that's not me, I dare you. Me, and Haruhi Suzumiya.

So, going through the fashion forum on Fanbolt, and came up with a cool new site idea. I've been lulling over fashion site ideas in my head, but this one just seems so cool.

What if I did a website where we basically gave out style tips, talked about celebrity's style, etc. all while having "secret" identities. I think it'd be cool to get two more girls, each of us with a different style sense, and basically report. I think it would be cool. We could have little nicknames. Our own little bios. A blog to say whatever we want, whenever we want, about celebrity style. We could give out fashion, hair, and makeup tips. Express out own fashion. Promote cool fashion stuff. Who knows, we could get big.

Anyone interested? Anyone have any other ideas? Comment, yo.

Wow, it's been a long time. Granted, I've been hella busy. That's right, little miss Maddy finally graduated. I got my diploma a couple of weeks ago. It feels good. I'm at Macomb taking classes. Since I don't plan on anykind of occupation Macomb offers courses for, I'm getting my basic classes out of the way and then transferring to somewhere in California. Riiiight in San Diego, thanks a bunch.

It feels really good to finally be in college. Things got so sidetracked for me, but I'm back on course. Things are clearing up a bit with my parents... they've finally started to realize that yes, I worked my ass off to graduate. I didn't get a GED and take the easy route. I got an actual diploma, from a actual high school. Hazel Park class of 2007, woot! They've started to realize that I do fill out lots of job applications - they just don't call back. I applied to Wal-Mart, Petco, The Friar's, Red Apple, and Burger King in the past two weeks and not a one has called back.

So, still no job. Just the animal shelter. I still have two of my three foster kittens. Kana, the evil little bitch of the group, went back because she was really sick, and a girl just filled out an application to adopt her on Friday, so hopefully she'll get a home this week. I'm not getting along with my bosses there very much. For one, my "supervisor", let's call him... Vader... is a jerk. He's rude to every person who walks through the door, or calls on the phone. He's gone as far as the make racial comments behind people's backs and cuss people out. And yet, he still gets to boss me around? He's been there ONE WEEK longer than me, and he's the big mighty volunteer? I'd love for the Vice President of the society to see him when he's in a bad mood and sends me to deal with everyone because he "can't deal with it right now". I'm a bit pissed because I'm still not allowed to run the shelter alone. They call in this dumb-ass volunteer (let's call her Val) to watch over the phones, and me. She's been there since June. I've been there since March. But because she's older, she gets the run of things. Yet, she's always asking me questions... questions a two year old would know the answers to. And why does Val get all this power? Because she's up Vader's ass all the time. She does anything he asks her to do, whether it's handling people he doesn't want to talk to on the phone, or going to get his lunch. She's his bitch. I just feel like they treat me like a child, which is definitely going to be brought up to my other supervisor, and my second mom, Jennifer. She's the sweetest lady everrrr, and she actually understands where I'm coming from when I say that they talk down to me.

But, I'm sick at the moment. I have a nasty cold that's alternating between a chest cold and a head cold. It sucks, I've missed all my classes this week so far. I can hardly breath to sleep, let alone walk across the campus.

I'm going to try and keep this updated. I'm working on my sites as we speak. Plastic-Tiara.org and all my personal stuff is moving to itsaconspiracy.org, and PT is turning into a hosting and collective sort of domain. Fun, aye?

So, leave me a comment, and I'll return the favor.

xoxoxo,
Gossip Girl.

Errr, Maddy.

For those of you who haven't heard, I'm fostering three gorgeous kittens. They're six weeks old, one dark grey, two black, and their names are Jasper, Scout, and Kana. From Twilight, my brain, and Fruits Basket. I love my little kittehs, but since I got them... they've been shitting all over the place. Like, watery poo on my bed, and on the floor and... everywhere. Today I find out that they have feline Coccidia, which is a parasite that lives in the intestines. It gives them dirrahea, and dehydrates them very bad. We have to get them to the vet tomorrow to confirm it, but they have all the symptoms. They drink water like woah, and they have running poos that they get all over the place. I feel bad for them! But hey, they're cute, and hopefully we can get them some medication and get them all better so they'll stop shitting on my bed.

Other than that, I was supposed to go to California for an internship. I was gonna work at a vet assistant at my uncle's work for a few weeks, which gives me nice work experience, and gives me something good to put on a college application. When I emailed my Auntie today to see when she wants me to come, she goes "See, here's the thing... Uncle Brian got hit by a car." Now don't panic. Uncle Brian is okay. He fractured his hip, but they did sugery over the weekend, and he's just going to be on crutches for 3+ months. Apparently, he was riding his bike to work (he's a health freak, and his work is like, 8 miles away), and some ass opened his car door and hit him with it, and fractured his hip! Now, my uncle will be on crutches the entire summer, and can't really do all that much sugeries or anything. It sucks, because I really, really wanted that work experience. Eh, I'll work something out. Maybe go help out for awhile while he's out, and then spend the rest of the time with Edo. She's one of my friends who really wants me to come visit and, as she says, "go swiiiiiiiiiiimminggggggg. And and... and.... SWIIIIIIIIIMMIIIINGGGGGGGGGG..." Haha.

Why the hell does everyone feel the need to post spoilers, to put things that happen immediately after they happen on forums, or when they just IM you and are like "OMG this and this was so cool!" without think that "hey, maybe they have a DVR and weren't home last night!" I know what happened on Lost, I know who died. And I"m really NOT fucking happy about it. You wanna know why? Because I'd like to watch the episode without knowing. Why the HELL would someone put "RIP myfavoritepersononLost" in their sig? Because they're evil. And it's fucking retarted. I shouldn't even bother watching Veronica Mars, or Lost, or Grey's Anatomy, or Supernatural. Because even after I turned signatures off on Fanbolt, people are still spoiling me. You know what? Keep your fucking mouths shut. I'm about to cry because I'm so frusterated over people being idiots. It just pisses me off so bad, that people can't keep their opinions to themselves for like, a week. It's Saturday, Lost aired on Wednesday. Give me a week to get over my sinus infection and ear infection so I can stay awake long enough to watch it before you go and tell me what happened.

I, for the life of me cannot understand why people are still up in a roar over the Moderator choices I made. Ya'll still have problems with Chris, Shawna, and Theresa? Well, that's slightly retarted, seeing as they, save a few, are the only members of that damn staff who do anything. You think you could do better? It's funny, because most of the people that have such a problem were on my list to become Moderators. Yes, I have a list. But at the time that I was having terrible trouble, you were elsewhere. And I'm sorry you didn't get your spot right when you wanted it, but you were still at the TOP of that list. And you turn around and do this to me? You turn around and say mean things, and you're STILL taking it out on me, still blaming me. People want me to sit here and go "If I could go back and change things, I would." But I wouldn't. Because Chris, Shawna, and Theresa helped me more than you ever did. Now, after all the shit you started, there's no spot left for you on Fanbolt, and I'll make sure of it. And if you're still pissed off at me, still bitter, no matter how hard I try to make it up to you.... well, fuck you. I'm sick and tired of people IMing me and going "Yeah, so and so said that Shawna did this, and they're like 'I told her so' about you." Do you think I give a flying fuck? They're good Moderators. It's no one's fault that you have a problem with them, but your own. So stop being fucking childish and fucking blaming me, because it's all you.

I've been living it up in Florida for a bit, and now I'm back, and so not liking this weather. But I'll fill ya'll in on my vacation romance in a few days, once I catch up on my sleep. Until then, go check out my board that just opened, Broken MB!


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First off, I wanted to apologize in advance for not commenting on everyone's journals by now. I've read all your recent entries, but it seems you all have long-term things you're discussing, and I have to read further back before I can comment. I feel out of the loop with everything, it's so sad.

For those of you who don't know, my biggest problem right now seems to be Kevin. Kevin is a voice actor who did a voice in one of my favorite anime programs (FullMetal Alchemist) and has also done stuff in Rumbling Hearts, Gunslinger Girls, etc. It's odd, because he's this incredibly sweet guy, and the first person in the anime world who hasn't treated me like a retard for not always knowing what I'm talking about in the anime world. It's like having an older brother, which is something I've wanted, and have never had, as I'm an only child. Well, lately, he's been just... I dunno. Doing odd things. He promised he'd call me, just to say hi. No call. He says he'll record a demo for me in his Irish accent (SQUEE) and never does it. Then, as a joke, I was like "I know I'm your biggest fan!" and he goes "Actaully, you're not." Which for some stupid reason REALLY hurt. Now, I bet you're all wondering why I'm talking about this on here, and not on my anime journal? Because my anime journal is acting up, just the same as nomemoryofyou was. And it feels better to mention it here, because everyone in my little anime world knows me, knows Kevin, knows how I am with Kevin, and are more likely to tell him that he's breaking my heart. I dunno what to do with him.

The last two days of class have been cancelled, due to the extreme cold. I haven't left the house since Saturday, because it's so friggin frigid out there. And goodie, they have yet to cancel school for tomorrow, so I'm probably stuck packing my things and lugging my butt to class for two hours. It's the start of my new semester, so I haven't even been to class yet, but it's a lab class, so I'll just be working alone on a computer.

With Valentine's Day coming up, I also have a ton of dillemas coming up. I have a boyfriend. I adore him. But it seems like we're more friends than an actual couple. I mean, it's always only been quick kisses and cuddling with him, which is something I do on a daily basis with my gay friends. I'm not complaining, and it's not like I want to be snogging him constantly, but it seems like we're both not interested in that, so maybe my brain is telling me that we're better off as friends?

Then there's my crush who works at the resturaunt. Max, his codename was, I believe. We went there on Saturday, just for the hell of it. And I'm not expecting anything from him, I haven't thought of him much... and then he's there, and I'm just watching him.. he's waiting tables now, anad just seems happier than before. Before, everyone was telling me "Oh, you don't wanna go around that one, he's so grumpy" when he's not, he's just very, very shy. I mean, I thought he was a bit of a dick, but then Em was like "Just talk to him." so she took me over, introduced me to him, and sure enough, the guy just lights up like a light bulb, and you can feel everyone just watching him. You can't help but smile talking to him. He went from emo-ish to asking how old I was, what school I went to, what grade I was in, and on and on. And since then, I've been hooked. On Saturday, he didn't see me until we were leaving, when my parents had walked out, and I stopped to get my phone out of my bag. And all of the sudden he's there, asking how I've been, why he hasn't seen me in so long, what I've been up to, and he filled me in on himself; he's going to Macomb, he's waiting tables because they stopped paying the food-runners tips and he was making lousy cash, and he's apparently missed me. We joked about his friend Jesse, we talked for a good ten minutes, and then what does he say? "Next time, ask for my section, okay?" And my heart just hit the floor. God, he's so CUTE. No, not cute. Beautiful. And I don't know what the hell I'm doing, being interested in so many guys at once. It's like not having a boyfriend for so long has left me open with all this need for somekind of attention. It's insane.

But I'm getting butterflies, which probably isn't a good thing, because they have nothing to do with my boyfriend, and he's over tonight. He's gonna spend the night, apparently. Which, is also funny, because that's been a thing I've had with all my boyfriends. I'm not into being all over eachother and such, so if you spend then night, we do one thing - sleep. My mom has always trusted me, and I've always been allowed to have boyfriends over, because she knows what we're doing - we watch movies until the crack of dawn, or play around on the computer, and then we fall asleep. There's no making out, no sex... it's just cuddling up and sleeping. And then we have breakfast in the morning, have our showers, and part ways. And I like it like that.

Since it's a new journal, which is supposed to be a new beginning, I'll start it off with somnething that's NOT depressing and sad. I'm happy, because we're going to Florida in a few weeks.

It's nice, because there's a anime convention in Orlando at the same time, so I'm gonna drop by and see the lovely Vic Mignogna, and guess who else ya'll? SEAN ASTIN! I'm so excited, it's unbearable. And to top it off? Since we're at the condo, I'm having a few friends over, and we're gonna invite Vic and Sean, and have a little party. Who knows, maybe Aaron Dismuke will be there!

Things didn't work out with one of my guys, I haven't spoken to another one of my guys in ages, and I'm dating one of them, Cole. Who I didn't realize I code-named Cole. His real name IS Cole. Silly me. But things are good with him. He's such a sweetie. And oddly enough, so are his friends. He's just perfect, and it gives me shivers just thinking about it.

Things went really bad with "Seth". It was all good, then he's been grumpy, and he flipped out on me today for something I teasingly say to him all the time, so I ended up crying, Andrea ended up bitching him out, and he's upset, and I'm upset. I'm tired of patching things up with him. He gets so angry over the tiniest thing, and he takes it out on me, when I've done nothing to him. I mean, I sit with him, I comfort him, I tease him, we have fun. And then he doesn't get to go to a con, and all of the sudden, he snaps like a rubber band, and goes "What the fuck do you want?" " and "I can't go to the bathroom without you having to question me when I don't anwser right away." Then he has the nerve to come on Skype with me and a couple of my friends and go "Maddy's IMing me going 'you're so mean, you anti-Skype whore! GRRR Peter's a bitch!' " which, you'll see from the convo, isn't what I said at all. I don't understand him.

Me: Anti-Skype dork!
Seth: goddamnit wtf u want now?
Me: Nevermind.
Seth: geezz I can't even go to the freakin bathroom without u guys bitchin every time!
Me: Nevermind, Seth.
Seth: no, really, wat's so important that u have to critisize EVERY TIME I don't answer right away?
Me: The whole anti-Skype dork thing is a joke, I'm only teasing you. But don't worry about it. It's not me calling me, anyways.

Did that sound like I'd at all provoked him? The whole "Anti-Skype dork" thing is from him not anwsering his Skype calls ALL the time. It's not meant as anything, just a joke, and he's always took it as that. Today, he acts like I've done something terrible to him, and feels the need to tell all my friends. Whatever, he's going to be sorry. I'll see him at Anime Expo, in my miniskirt, and he's going to be sorry. And he can keep being sorry, because I don't need to be snapped at like that.

Back to happy things! I'm off school, I've been off since last Tuesday (I took Tuesday off and only went Monday, muah)and I go back on Monday, February 5th. I have an exam to do then, and I basically have a week and two days, and then I'm off to Florida. I have to go in on the day we leave for the entire morning, as now that I'm Student Council President (BOW TO ME) I get to run the Valentine's Day carnation sale. Mya and I are doing the morning shift, and then Devhon and Tyrell are doing the afternoon. It's gonna be fun. Tyrell, who is the sweetest boy eeeever - he walks me out to my car, so I don't walk through the dark parking lot alone, and he checks my car out for me, like someone's gonna be in it, because I told him a woman who lives by me got in her car, and someone was in the backseat and cut her throat - mentioned that he didn't have a Valentine, so he was gonna hate V-Day this year, so I'm buying a flower for him, and leaving it with a card that says "Wanna be my gangsta Valentine?" Hahahaha, he'll love it. I'm sure he'll call me while I'm on my way to Florida, and make fun of me.

On Thursday, I'm doing something ya'll would never expect for me to be excited about - we're going to look at dead bodies at the Detroit Science Center. It's a display of corpses in the various states of decay. My Short Stories teacher from last semester is going, and invited us all along, so I soooo wanna go. I'll just make sure Cole goes, so I can cling on him if it's too gross.

I got an A in Short Stories, the teacher LOVES my writing. We did a group story for our final of the class, and she pulled me aside and asked me to write my own, so she could see more of my work. I haven't gotten it graded yet, but I'm sure she'll tell me on Thursday. Next semester I'm on to Georgraphy and English: Proofing & Grammar. I have to finish my US Government notes, then take my exam when I get back.